Crash

Jurgs me and our boys have had a beautiful week in Devon.   The weather was gorgeous, our usual crappy caravan was a little bit better (gold standard I'll have you know!) and life was good.

We thought we would take the boys out for dinner on our last night and trundled down to a local pub.  Except we didn't get to the local pub. In fact, we nearly didn't make it at all.

Jurgen, 200 yds from the pub, stopped on the main road behind a parked car to wait for oncoming traffic.  About 10 seconds later an horrendous bang happened.  Which shot us 5 inches forward.  Stunned.

It took me a second or two to get my bearings, but then I spun round (as did Jurgen) to check on our boys.  All alright but equally stunned.

It then dawned on me that someone had ploughed into the back of us.  Hard.

I got out of the car , amazingly calm  and was confronted with another car embedded underneath our back bumper.   I've never been involved in an RTC before so it was all a bit hazy like.  But I soon realised that the car was stuck fast underneath ours and we needed to get it out.  The smell of burning rubber was fierce.  I asked the driver of the other car and his passenger to help.  And he did.  He put his car in neutral, and Jurgen drove forward and the cars fell apart.

I then rugby tackled Jurgen back into our car before he could grab hold of the other driver and kick the shit out of him for hurtling in to his car.  His car with his entire family in it.  His "pride and joy". 

I reached into the front of my car to get a notepad and directed Jurgen to move to the other side of the road to stop congestion that had already started to build. 

I went over to take the details of the driver and was faced with a child.

A child, in a  perched on the top of his head baseball cap and spotty skin.  I asked his name.  "Tom" he said.  "Tom?  I need your full name for the insurance company mate.  Tom isn't going to cut it.  You are insured aren't you?  How old are you?"  "18" he replied,  and then burped in my face.  "Tom, mate. Don't burp in my face."  And he did,  again.  "Tom, you pig,  please don't do that again."  And I walked away (before I kicked the shit out of him) checking out the car.  "Jurgen, do you want to phone the police?  Yep, just 999 it.  Tom boy here, isn't insured.  Not sure if he is old enough to have moved on to boxer shorts." 

With that, Tom ran. Well, I say ran.  Tom was a biggish lad so he kind of galloped off. I had flip flops on and wasn't inclined to do Starsky and Hutch heroics , so let him go.  I did shout up the road that I would see him later as I recognised him from the caravan park that I was staying in.  Him and his passenger. 

So, I was left in the road, with 3 stunned boys, a husband that would have easily taken on Mike Tyson if he'd been there and a banged up motor. 

Sometimes it all gets a bit too much being the matriarch of this family.  But matriarch I am so take control I did. 

I phoned the insurance company who took all the details and kindly told me I would have to pay the £550 excess.  I've been a driver since 1995 and I have never claimed on an insurance policy.  Neither have I have ever taken a note of my excess.  I just get the cheapest deal possible. Now, I have been hit by an uninsured minor I wish I had not been such a cheapskate.  But who checks their excess?  I'm sure I'm not alone in getting the cheapest deal.  I'm not even sure I have legal cover.  It all of a sudden becomes a bit of a ball ache.

"Tom" has been arrested.  Turns out "Tom" is actually Sam (of all the bloody names that piss me off...) And Sam is actually 16 years old and nicked his step dads car for a laugh and nearly wiped out my children in the process.  And I'm not being overdramatic.  Our Range Rover saved our children's lives - of that I have no doubt.  If we had been in say, a Fiesta, he would have crushed the back seat of the car and I genuinely doubt I would be writing this reflective blog.  It just doesn't bare thinking about. 

The police have taken statements from Jurgen and I and we'll go to court.  The damage to my Range Rover is minimal considering the whack that it took , but being a Range Rover it will be expensive.  In excess of £2,000 I reckon.  And whatever happens muggins here has to pay at least £550.  It turned out to be the most expnsive meal out of my life!

Its not even about the money.  Luckily we can pay it.  Luckily.  But how many others wouldn't be able to? And actually why the bloody hell should I?  I haven't done anything wrong.  Its ridiculous.  My insurance company have said I can go after them for the excess but what chance have I got, really of getting it back? 

The ironic thing about this whole episode is that I don't feel angry at the other driver.  I mean, I did.  Red mist angry. But now I kind of question why he would do something like that, when he is on holiday with his family?  What sort of life does he have that his idea of attention seeking it to nick a car?  I get that he may just be a bad egg.  Someone who never has enough and will always do the wrong thing.  But I kind of don't think this kid is.  I think he's troubled.  And I am struggling with the fact that I can't do anything about that. 

There wont be any element of learning from this. 

The following day we did bump into him in at the caravan park after he was bailed.  Jurgen was ready to smash his face in.  But I wasn't.  I walked over to him and told him that every decision he makes has a consequence and he needs to accept responsibility for that.  I told him that if we had been in a smaller car he could well have killed my children.  And then I asked him to come and say sorry to my boys.  And he did.  He walked with me to my car, asked politely if he could open the door and when I said yes he said he was sorry to them.    He said he didn't mean it and he hoped that they were ok.   And then he said he was sorry to me.  And this was all while Jurgen was pacing back and forth waiting for a wrong move to cave his face in.   And do you know what?  I kind of respect him for that  Just a little.  Because it really couldn't have been easy.  And I don't know anything about him and I want to think that deep inside everyone there is a good.  We learn to be bad and we tend to learn when we are children.

So, now I'm all sorts of conflicted.  Because I kind of feel disloyal to my children and Jurgen because I am not raging with this lad.  Jurgen and I have talked long and hard about it and he understands what I am saying but not why.  But then he is headstrong and not the most logical of thinkers ( bless him) .

But its done now.  We all walked away safe.  And I don't  even need to put in a claim for compensation.  No whiplash here.

Its amazing how in reality your whole life can change in a heartbeat.  And we need to remember that and live every day as if its your last.

And we need to do right by our children.   I said to Jurgen when this was all going on "What if it was one of our children?"  And all he said was "It wouldn't be..." 

And I think he's right....