So, its done. The long awaited, painfully drawn out referendum is done and if I am honest I'm still a little in shock at the outcome. I wasn't expecting it. I was quietly confident that we would stay in, but we haven't. And now we have to live with that decision.
And live with it. We have to. And here's my point.
The aftermath of this referendum has had me raging at my laptop screen. Throwing my phone across the table in despair. Because, well, everything has gone a little bit batshit crazy, hasn't it?
The panic, the public meltdowns, the abuse, vitriol and general twattery I have seen and read has me lost for words. And that doesn't happen often. And it was only for a millisecond that I was actually lost for words because when I have something to say, I blog. And I sooooo have something to say now.
Everyone knows we live in a democracy. I think we are particurly privileged to do so. We took a vote. You could opt in, opt out. Chose to vote, chose not to vote. Chose to vote and then not bother. Chose to vote in and then change your mind at the last minute and vote out. Because that's what living in a democracy is all about. The right to choose. The right to vote. The right to be heard.
And that's what we have done.
But instead of being united in the choice of the majority, the "Remains" are all sorts of pissed off. All sorts of affronted. And all of a sudden they haven't got their own way and are looking for legal loopholes to have another go. Because that's the way forward, isn't it? If you don't get your own way the first time, stamp your feet, shout a bit and battle on to get your own way. Its the most absurd thing I have ever heard. How many times can that go on? 17 referendums later and we finally vote remain because everyone has moved to the outer Hebrides to get away from it all and there are only 7 people left voting. And finally those 7 all agree to remain and all is right with the world. Really? Is this the sort of democracy that we want? You just keep going until the most affronted and the loudest get their own way?
And those who are now "ashamed" to live here, ashamed of their fellow voters. Now that really really pisses me off. Because that's like suggesting your opinion is the only one. And its right. That you are more right than everyone else and that's simply not true. This referendum was ground breaking for our country. There has never been anything like it in my lifetime and because of that. Because there is no precedent - there can't be no right of wrong answer. Its the majority rule. Its the opinion of the majority that matters. And in this case the majority wanted out. And as much as that might make your blood boil, You have to respect that don't you? Being "ashamed" it just wrong. The worst thing that you can tell a person is that your ashamed of them. Its like the biggest put down in the world. Its belittling. And you are saying this about peple who just don't have the same opinion as you. Its disappointing, of course. But to be ashamed to be British is just not, well.. British.
And now London want to be seen as an independent state. I mean, don't even get me started on that. It petulant behaviour. It throwing your toys out of the pram behaviour and the fact that you are old enough to vote should be enough to make you behave like an adult. Because that's what you are. An adult. You should be grown up enough to realise that you don't always get what you want in life. Its that simple. And if they get their own way I think it will open up the floodgates for a lot more independent states. And then what, civil war??
And we HAVE legitimised racism. Its true. And its very very wrong and equally makes my blood boil. But there have always been racists from every background in this country. They just think they have a voice now. And not everyone who chose to leave did it for racists reasons. Its the minority of people who have. So now we have to stand by the country's decision but confront these racists and shut them up. It wont be easy but its like every single problem in society - you won't eradicate it you have to do your very best to try and stem it. And that's up to all of us.
The Facebook posts and Tweets about how everyone who had voted out were "fucking idiots" "fucking retards" (I kid you not.) just brought out the very worst in social media. It wasn't a nice place to be. And actually it still isn't. Because we still haven't reverted back to lovely holiday photo's, pictures of food and cats. And that's why I think I need to take a break from it all. Not for long, but just long enough for the ridiculous nonsense to calm down. Now I am not saying this so everyone shouts "stay" "don't go" believe it or not I am not that attention seeking but just because I don't want to feel like punching the whole world in the face every day. And that's what Facebook is doing to me. Making me want to punch the whole world in the face. Every day.
I am no longer sure what social media is all about. I get that its moved on a lot and it means all sorts of different things for different people, and you can hide people, block people and all that shit. I know that. But everytime you wanna have a quick whizz around whats going on with your mates you have to do a social cleansing exercise? No thanks. I don't want it to be that difficult.
So I'm taking a social media break from Facebook. My palms are sweating already and I am hyperventilating at the thought. Its become a huge part of my everyday. But I don't want to carry the world on FB anger around with me all the time.
I except the vote. I am very anxious and little bit scared as to what the future holds, but I've always loved a challenge and I have to accept that our country voted out. So we need to do this. And face whatever that may bring.
And I leave this with you, because we have become lost in the world of the referendum.
Isn't the weather shit for June......?
Sunday, 26 June 2016
Saturday, 4 June 2016
Crash
Jurgs me and our boys have had a beautiful week in Devon. The weather was gorgeous, our usual crappy caravan was a little bit better (gold standard I'll have you know!) and life was good.
We thought we would take the boys out for dinner on our last night and trundled down to a local pub. Except we didn't get to the local pub. In fact, we nearly didn't make it at all.
Jurgen, 200 yds from the pub, stopped on the main road behind a parked car to wait for oncoming traffic. About 10 seconds later an horrendous bang happened. Which shot us 5 inches forward. Stunned.
It took me a second or two to get my bearings, but then I spun round (as did Jurgen) to check on our boys. All alright but equally stunned.
It then dawned on me that someone had ploughed into the back of us. Hard.
I got out of the car , amazingly calm and was confronted with another car embedded underneath our back bumper. I've never been involved in an RTC before so it was all a bit hazy like. But I soon realised that the car was stuck fast underneath ours and we needed to get it out. The smell of burning rubber was fierce. I asked the driver of the other car and his passenger to help. And he did. He put his car in neutral, and Jurgen drove forward and the cars fell apart.
I then rugby tackled Jurgen back into our car before he could grab hold of the other driver and kick the shit out of him for hurtling in to his car. His car with his entire family in it. His "pride and joy".
I reached into the front of my car to get a notepad and directed Jurgen to move to the other side of the road to stop congestion that had already started to build.
I went over to take the details of the driver and was faced with a child.
A child, in a perched on the top of his head baseball cap and spotty skin. I asked his name. "Tom" he said. "Tom? I need your full name for the insurance company mate. Tom isn't going to cut it. You are insured aren't you? How old are you?" "18" he replied, and then burped in my face. "Tom, mate. Don't burp in my face." And he did, again. "Tom, you pig, please don't do that again." And I walked away (before I kicked the shit out of him) checking out the car. "Jurgen, do you want to phone the police? Yep, just 999 it. Tom boy here, isn't insured. Not sure if he is old enough to have moved on to boxer shorts."
With that, Tom ran. Well, I say ran. Tom was a biggish lad so he kind of galloped off. I had flip flops on and wasn't inclined to do Starsky and Hutch heroics , so let him go. I did shout up the road that I would see him later as I recognised him from the caravan park that I was staying in. Him and his passenger.
So, I was left in the road, with 3 stunned boys, a husband that would have easily taken on Mike Tyson if he'd been there and a banged up motor.
Sometimes it all gets a bit too much being the matriarch of this family. But matriarch I am so take control I did.
I phoned the insurance company who took all the details and kindly told me I would have to pay the £550 excess. I've been a driver since 1995 and I have never claimed on an insurance policy. Neither have I have ever taken a note of my excess. I just get the cheapest deal possible. Now, I have been hit by an uninsured minor I wish I had not been such a cheapskate. But who checks their excess? I'm sure I'm not alone in getting the cheapest deal. I'm not even sure I have legal cover. It all of a sudden becomes a bit of a ball ache.
"Tom" has been arrested. Turns out "Tom" is actually Sam (of all the bloody names that piss me off...) And Sam is actually 16 years old and nicked his step dads car for a laugh and nearly wiped out my children in the process. And I'm not being overdramatic. Our Range Rover saved our children's lives - of that I have no doubt. If we had been in say, a Fiesta, he would have crushed the back seat of the car and I genuinely doubt I would be writing this reflective blog. It just doesn't bare thinking about.
The police have taken statements from Jurgen and I and we'll go to court. The damage to my Range Rover is minimal considering the whack that it took , but being a Range Rover it will be expensive. In excess of £2,000 I reckon. And whatever happens muggins here has to pay at least £550. It turned out to be the most expnsive meal out of my life!
Its not even about the money. Luckily we can pay it. Luckily. But how many others wouldn't be able to? And actually why the bloody hell should I? I haven't done anything wrong. Its ridiculous. My insurance company have said I can go after them for the excess but what chance have I got, really of getting it back?
The ironic thing about this whole episode is that I don't feel angry at the other driver. I mean, I did. Red mist angry. But now I kind of question why he would do something like that, when he is on holiday with his family? What sort of life does he have that his idea of attention seeking it to nick a car? I get that he may just be a bad egg. Someone who never has enough and will always do the wrong thing. But I kind of don't think this kid is. I think he's troubled. And I am struggling with the fact that I can't do anything about that.
There wont be any element of learning from this.
The following day we did bump into him in at the caravan park after he was bailed. Jurgen was ready to smash his face in. But I wasn't. I walked over to him and told him that every decision he makes has a consequence and he needs to accept responsibility for that. I told him that if we had been in a smaller car he could well have killed my children. And then I asked him to come and say sorry to my boys. And he did. He walked with me to my car, asked politely if he could open the door and when I said yes he said he was sorry to them. He said he didn't mean it and he hoped that they were ok. And then he said he was sorry to me. And this was all while Jurgen was pacing back and forth waiting for a wrong move to cave his face in. And do you know what? I kind of respect him for that Just a little. Because it really couldn't have been easy. And I don't know anything about him and I want to think that deep inside everyone there is a good. We learn to be bad and we tend to learn when we are children.
So, now I'm all sorts of conflicted. Because I kind of feel disloyal to my children and Jurgen because I am not raging with this lad. Jurgen and I have talked long and hard about it and he understands what I am saying but not why. But then he is headstrong and not the most logical of thinkers ( bless him) .
But its done now. We all walked away safe. And I don't even need to put in a claim for compensation. No whiplash here.
Its amazing how in reality your whole life can change in a heartbeat. And we need to remember that and live every day as if its your last.
And we need to do right by our children. I said to Jurgen when this was all going on "What if it was one of our children?" And all he said was "It wouldn't be..."
And I think he's right....
We thought we would take the boys out for dinner on our last night and trundled down to a local pub. Except we didn't get to the local pub. In fact, we nearly didn't make it at all.
Jurgen, 200 yds from the pub, stopped on the main road behind a parked car to wait for oncoming traffic. About 10 seconds later an horrendous bang happened. Which shot us 5 inches forward. Stunned.
It took me a second or two to get my bearings, but then I spun round (as did Jurgen) to check on our boys. All alright but equally stunned.
It then dawned on me that someone had ploughed into the back of us. Hard.
I got out of the car , amazingly calm and was confronted with another car embedded underneath our back bumper. I've never been involved in an RTC before so it was all a bit hazy like. But I soon realised that the car was stuck fast underneath ours and we needed to get it out. The smell of burning rubber was fierce. I asked the driver of the other car and his passenger to help. And he did. He put his car in neutral, and Jurgen drove forward and the cars fell apart.
I then rugby tackled Jurgen back into our car before he could grab hold of the other driver and kick the shit out of him for hurtling in to his car. His car with his entire family in it. His "pride and joy".
I reached into the front of my car to get a notepad and directed Jurgen to move to the other side of the road to stop congestion that had already started to build.
I went over to take the details of the driver and was faced with a child.
A child, in a perched on the top of his head baseball cap and spotty skin. I asked his name. "Tom" he said. "Tom? I need your full name for the insurance company mate. Tom isn't going to cut it. You are insured aren't you? How old are you?" "18" he replied, and then burped in my face. "Tom, mate. Don't burp in my face." And he did, again. "Tom, you pig, please don't do that again." And I walked away (before I kicked the shit out of him) checking out the car. "Jurgen, do you want to phone the police? Yep, just 999 it. Tom boy here, isn't insured. Not sure if he is old enough to have moved on to boxer shorts."
With that, Tom ran. Well, I say ran. Tom was a biggish lad so he kind of galloped off. I had flip flops on and wasn't inclined to do Starsky and Hutch heroics , so let him go. I did shout up the road that I would see him later as I recognised him from the caravan park that I was staying in. Him and his passenger.
So, I was left in the road, with 3 stunned boys, a husband that would have easily taken on Mike Tyson if he'd been there and a banged up motor.
Sometimes it all gets a bit too much being the matriarch of this family. But matriarch I am so take control I did.
I phoned the insurance company who took all the details and kindly told me I would have to pay the £550 excess. I've been a driver since 1995 and I have never claimed on an insurance policy. Neither have I have ever taken a note of my excess. I just get the cheapest deal possible. Now, I have been hit by an uninsured minor I wish I had not been such a cheapskate. But who checks their excess? I'm sure I'm not alone in getting the cheapest deal. I'm not even sure I have legal cover. It all of a sudden becomes a bit of a ball ache.
"Tom" has been arrested. Turns out "Tom" is actually Sam (of all the bloody names that piss me off...) And Sam is actually 16 years old and nicked his step dads car for a laugh and nearly wiped out my children in the process. And I'm not being overdramatic. Our Range Rover saved our children's lives - of that I have no doubt. If we had been in say, a Fiesta, he would have crushed the back seat of the car and I genuinely doubt I would be writing this reflective blog. It just doesn't bare thinking about.
The police have taken statements from Jurgen and I and we'll go to court. The damage to my Range Rover is minimal considering the whack that it took , but being a Range Rover it will be expensive. In excess of £2,000 I reckon. And whatever happens muggins here has to pay at least £550. It turned out to be the most expnsive meal out of my life!
Its not even about the money. Luckily we can pay it. Luckily. But how many others wouldn't be able to? And actually why the bloody hell should I? I haven't done anything wrong. Its ridiculous. My insurance company have said I can go after them for the excess but what chance have I got, really of getting it back?
The ironic thing about this whole episode is that I don't feel angry at the other driver. I mean, I did. Red mist angry. But now I kind of question why he would do something like that, when he is on holiday with his family? What sort of life does he have that his idea of attention seeking it to nick a car? I get that he may just be a bad egg. Someone who never has enough and will always do the wrong thing. But I kind of don't think this kid is. I think he's troubled. And I am struggling with the fact that I can't do anything about that.
There wont be any element of learning from this.
The following day we did bump into him in at the caravan park after he was bailed. Jurgen was ready to smash his face in. But I wasn't. I walked over to him and told him that every decision he makes has a consequence and he needs to accept responsibility for that. I told him that if we had been in a smaller car he could well have killed my children. And then I asked him to come and say sorry to my boys. And he did. He walked with me to my car, asked politely if he could open the door and when I said yes he said he was sorry to them. He said he didn't mean it and he hoped that they were ok. And then he said he was sorry to me. And this was all while Jurgen was pacing back and forth waiting for a wrong move to cave his face in. And do you know what? I kind of respect him for that Just a little. Because it really couldn't have been easy. And I don't know anything about him and I want to think that deep inside everyone there is a good. We learn to be bad and we tend to learn when we are children.
So, now I'm all sorts of conflicted. Because I kind of feel disloyal to my children and Jurgen because I am not raging with this lad. Jurgen and I have talked long and hard about it and he understands what I am saying but not why. But then he is headstrong and not the most logical of thinkers ( bless him) .
But its done now. We all walked away safe. And I don't even need to put in a claim for compensation. No whiplash here.
Its amazing how in reality your whole life can change in a heartbeat. And we need to remember that and live every day as if its your last.
And we need to do right by our children. I said to Jurgen when this was all going on "What if it was one of our children?" And all he said was "It wouldn't be..."
And I think he's right....
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