Seriously?

I have been power walking to town for two weeks.  This week Jurgen downloaded some sort of music app for me to listen to.  And provided me with big 1980's type headphones to listen to said music while I am strutting out of breath into town. 

So, half way to town today I thought the music needed to be turned up.  You know, the sun was shining.  I was getting my exercise on and I was walking fast.  You NEED loud music in your ears to carry this off.

So, pressing the volume up button in an enthusiastic manner with a huge "loving life" grin, the volume remained the same.  I pressed the "up" button again.  Nothing,  Still mediocre sound.  I got annoyed., looked down at the phone to see what the f**k was wrong with the bloody thing and saw a warning that said something like

"loud music can cause hearing problems. You may need ear surgery to ever hear again.   If you want to increase the sound please press here.  And then use your volume up button"

I. Nearly. Had. A. Coronary.

I am 41 years old.  I understand that the phone doesn't know this but I reckon from the very fact that I've got a phone I'm not a baby.

Do I need my mum, sitting in the form of a mobile phone, telling me what to do.  No,  I actually bloody well don't.  If I want to listen to my phone belting out tunes so that my very ears bleed then I can.  Because that's my perogative,  I can do what I bloody well like.  And so the cycle of nanny state continues.

The government are asking me to make a decision on whether the UK needs to be in Europe,  but Samsung won't allow me to make a decision on how loud I want my music?   Come on people. Back the fu** off.  I can't cope with this shit.  I am not clued up enough to make a decision on Europe but I also need a bit of guidance on how loud I want my music playing in my very own ears?   No, I don't actually. Educate me on Europe.  But do not try and tell me how I like my music played.

I phoned Jurgen immediately and told him how cross this made me.  He told me it was a "Samsung" thing.  And they were covering their arses incase anyone ever sued them bcause their ears fell off while listening to music on their devices.   And apparently this is enough to satisfy.  Oh no siree.  Not me.

Whatever next.  The "Nightclub" police?  As you walk into the club they tell you that the speakers are loud and may hurt your hearing and is this ok?  Can you cope with the loudness? 

I don't think you've been clubbing if your ears don't ring and you can't hear for four days after.

The supermarket police?  Who judge you on your weight as you walk in and follow you around the supermarket and chant in your ear, that you're fat and that the cake you've put in your trolley is doing nothing for your diet and will make you fat and spotty.

Or the library police?  Who tell you that there is no noise and ask if that is going to be ok?  Can you cope with the silence because chatting loudly is not allowed....

Or the cinema police?  Who tell you the basics of the film, who lives and who dies, in case you are too upset to walk home.  Or drive home.

Or the pub police?  Who tell you 18 pints of lager is likely to make you drunk, and act like a twat and may make strangers punch you hard in the face. Twice.

Or the taxi police.  Who asks you if it ok if they drive you home and the speed in which they are going to drive in case it makes you car sick? 

Do you get my point?  I am an adult .  I won't do something if I don't want to. I'm not going to jump off a cliff in a hoodie with a kite tied to it because Bear Frigging Grylls has told me not to. In fact it makes me want to do it more.   I'm a rebel, that's what I do.

I nearly screw - drived own my ears out my skull today because Samsung told me not to.  Its a defense mechanism thing.  Who's mum told them not to do "such and such" as a child.....  and you did it twice.  Just because?

I want to be an adult.  I'm 41.  And I'm going to act like one.  Even if that means that I have to behave like a big effing child to become one.  So, tonight I'm eating cake, listening to loud music and thinking hard about jumping off a cliff with just a kite.....

Days

Its International Women's Day today.  And I know this because it's plastered all over social media.

I haven't done anything to celebrate it, or mark it as any form of an "occasion".  I didn't buy myself  a Happy International Women's Day card.  Or eat cake.  Sorry about that.

I'm a woman.  I like women (not like that...) I want women to be hugely successful and rule the world.  But on the other hand I quite like men (absolutely like that...)  I want them to be hugely successful and rule the world.  So,  International Women's day is a bit of a stalemate for me. 

I am a feminist but not in an aggressive, unreasonable,  slap you about a bit, throw it in your bloody face every two minutes way.  But I still agree we should all be equal in everything, paid the same, have the same rights etc etc.  But its not all encompassing for me.  Its a thought I have occasionally - more when I see an injustice as opposed to a way of life. 

So, I am not going to get too excited about International Women's day.  Because I think we should celebrate everything, everyday.

We have a lot of "days" these days don't we?

Every bloody day we are celebrating something and making into a "day."   You can take your pick.  National Pizza Day, National Quit Smoking day, Cancer survivors day, World Environment day - and my all time bloody favourite WORLD SODDING BOOK DAY.  The biggest arse ache day in the history of calendars that makes my blood boil with rage.  Clearly some of these are  more serious than others but nonetheless  "days" we've made up. 
.
And its all getting a little bit on my tits.

We have a huge tendency in this country and globally actually to categorise everything.  And I am not sure why.  I expect that someone somewhere is celebrating International Women's day with an event of some kind.  But the "celebrations" I have seen consist of  disgruntled tweets from men complaining that there should be a International Men's Day (which there is)  and they have let their wives/ girlfriends celebrate by letting them out of the kitchen.... to hoover.   I have seen "big up" type tweets from women celebrating it, and that's about it, really.  I've also seen Maria Sharipova sign her own death warrant in the international world of sport.  Oh, the irony.....

Anyway its all getting a bit too much.  We categorise men, women, transgender, lesbian, gays, blacks, whites and now pizza.  Why don't we scrap every "day" that we have made up and just enjoy being.

Does it matter who you are, what you do, what colour you are, if you've survived illness or not?  I'm not sure it does.  Well, it doesn't to me.

Why don't we all just like each other.  Every day.  And celebrate our own lives on a daily basis.

That would work better for me. We could just call these days MonDAY, TuesDAY, WednesDAY, ThursDAY, FriDAY, SaturDAY and SunDAY.

So, today I am taking these days out of my calendar.  (although World Sodding Book Day may be tricky) and just taking each unlabelled day as it comes. 

NB  I am still celebrating my birthDAY and Christmas DAY because these indulge my materialistic side and they don't count anyway.....