Posh

So, I booked a weeks break to a five star hotel in Dubai for our joint 40th/ 18th & 16th birthdays.  I was so excited to be going five star that the time couldn't come quick enough.  And so here lies my experience with five star. 


I'm not posh.  And that's about it really.  I'm not posh and I don't really fit into posh surroundings.  And as much as it pains me to say that?  Its true.


I rocked up at the big hotel and I didn't open a door or see my bags again until I had finished checking in.  At check in they told me they would be taking  a thousand pound off my credit card as a "deposit" against how much I was going to spend during my stay.  I had to try so hard to act nonplussed as they swiped my entire life savings off my card.  And I had to try doubly hard not to shout "Jesus Shit I aint never gonna spend that much"   But I just remained stoic.  Go me.  


We had all of our luggage brought to our room by a lovely bloke.  Its a bit of luck really because Jurgen and I lugging our huge suitcases through poshville reception and occupying an entire lift for half an hour wouldn't have gone down too well, I don't 'spose...


But that's it really - its all a bit classy and I'm all a bit brassy....but I know how to behave and I can be well spoken and I am eloquent too so it's really my own personal issues that are the problem. 


I couldn't get used to someone pegging it toward the door before me so that they could open it for me.  Or calling a lift for me.   Or stopping walking, standing still in the corridor as I flip flopped past.
 
It wasn't normal for me and as I much as I get the concept it actually doesn't sit well with me.


And I'm loud.  Not deliberately but just by my very nature.  I like a crafty beer at lunchtime.  I like to doss about and laugh loudly but I felt restricted, not for any other reason than because, well it was posh weren't it? 


And I reckon if you are used to money, and poshness,  then your behaviour would adapt accordingly and become second nature. But I'm not.  I'm working class (and proud) but like I don't think I would fit in at a Led Zeppelin concert with my floral jeans and ballet pumps, I don't think I fit in to five star either.   


I am overwhelmed at the thought of over pricey-ness.  I can't work out why a small can of pop would cost you a fiver.  And I don't care how rich I ever had the fortune to become I don't think I would ever be able to fathom this.  And I can't help but mention to the waiter at the five star restaurant that I don't  want to pay £5.00 for a bottle of water that no one even sniffed at (that you could get free in your room.)  I don't think he had ever been asked to do a refund before...


Shops lining the reception with beautiful jewellery - the cheapest ring being £86,000.  Needless to say I bought two.


I was chatting to my mum in the pool and mentioned that I didn't feel posh and frankly didn't fit in.  My mum nearly had a coronary.  She was horrified that I thought I wasn't good enough.  And as she quite rightly pointed out - our money is as good as anyone's and the problem that we don't fit in is with them and not us.  And I tend to agree.


There's no questionnaire that you fill in before they will accept you as a customer.  They don't ask beforehand if you laugh too loud, or you get annoyed with over charging or if you like a cheeky beer.   They just accept your money and you're in the door. 


Traipsing through poshville reception with 5 children doesn't help.  Being a large family we are often prejudged on sight.  And I get that.  I'm not sure I wouldn't do it myself.  But we are alright you know?  My children behave and are respectful - there's just a lot of them.  And posh people have large families too, right?  


In my opinion the hotel I stayed in didn't get the balance right between holiday maker hotel and business hotel.  It was awkward flip flopping through reception with a gaggle of children dressed head to toe in Minion swimsuits wedged in rubber rings, laughing their way through a conference of suited and booted men on laptops and mobile phones.  It was awkward but again, their problem.  Not mine.


I learned a lot about myself as an individual on this holiday.  And I am so glad that I am lucky enough to be able to have such holidays.  But the next holiday I book I think I will go back to where I belong and that's your bog standard First Choice 4 Star holiday which in reality is 2 star.  And where I comfortably belong...


And I'm ok with that.  I love who I am and I don't want to change me to suit someone else.  And I don't want to try and be someone that I'm not.  Being me is ok.  So if it means that I'm not good enough for 5 star hotels then that's ok too. 


I guess being "me"  means more to me than being posh. 


So I'm off to drink cheap lager, eat chippy chips and get free water from the tap....