Eternity

Jurgen asked me what I wanted for my birthday this year and I asked if I could have an eternity ring.  He rolled his eyes and said in his rather monotone voice "If that's what you want..."   The reason he was not jumping up and down with glee is because this is the third eternity ring I have asked him to buy for me.

Three eternity rings.  Is this defeating the object of the very thing that they represent?  Is this making a mockery of their intentions?

This got me to thinking.

Eternity.....its a bloody long time isn't it?    Are you really prepared to say that you will stay with someone for all eternity?   It's a mind boggling concept when you think about it, and with broken marriages becoming more and more the "norm" as opposed to the exception, harder and harder to comprehend.

I married my first husband for all the right reasons, genuinely.  I thought I loved him, I thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.  But, unfortunately, it soon became apparent to me that this wasn't going to be the case.   In the end I tolerated him.  It was easier to be married to him than to face the daunting task of going it alone, with two children, a mortgage , two jobs and not much else.  I knew that I wasn't going to be with him forever.  I knew it.  But I didn't know how I was going to get out of it.  But I also knew fate would help me.  I am a massive, firm believer in fate.  I just believe that your life is mapped out from the day you are born.  And I knew that fate would ensure that I wasn't with my first husband forever.   And, for reasons that don't need to be explained we separated and later divorced.  For the record,  when he died, we were best friends...

I then met Jurgen and as I have already told you countless times I knew that he was the other half of me.  Of that I have no doubt.  I know that I am going to die being married to Jurgen or at least being his widow.  I have never been as sure of anything in my life.  I know without a shadow of a doubt that he would never cheat on me, never hurt me and through experience he is always thinking about me and putting my needs first.  I never take this for granted, surprisingly. Sure, on a day to day level you overlook this but I am very aware that there are people who never get to experience true love.   

I truly believe that for every person in the world there is another who is the other half of you.  Some of us are very lucky to find that person and then there are those who spend their whole lives searching but never get to meet. 

Relationships are like trousers, you will have those that fit for a while and then you grow out of them so you try another pair.  Then, if you are lucky, you find the elasticated waist trackies that, no matter how much you grow or age they just fit.  Comfortable and well,  just right.

Jurgen has had his fair share of "tight trousers" that he has had to give to the charity shop.  He had never tried on his elasticated waist trackies before me and now he would never take them off and wishes he had bought  them first time around.   Fashion,  its got a lot to answer for...

So, back to the three eternity rings.  The first one I was desperate for Jurgen to buy for me on our first wedding anniversary.  We didn't have much money so he bought me one that to be fair made my finger, over time, go slightly green.  The second was gorgeous but only a half band and the fact that the diamonds sat towards the palm of my hand more and more frequently, constantly annoyed me and it just wasn't right.  So, my third and hopefully final one.  Its a full band diamond set, white gold beauty.  And it just can't spin round and sit backwards and annoy me.

It is my hugely materialistic side that wanted this third eternity ring.  However, if I had stayed with the first one and sat with a tarnished greenish band on my finger for the rest of my life, it wouldn't have really mattered.  No ring can ever display the "thing" that Jurgen and I are lucky to have. 

If you haven't been lucky enough to find your other half yet.  Don't ever give up.   Never.  Keep searching, always, forever.

Because there is no age limit on eternity...