Domestic

So, I purchased a new washing machine this week and it has the wash capacity of 11kg.  This amazes and excites me greatly.

It was delivered on Wednesday but due to Jurgens "busy" schedule he couldnt really install it until yesterday. 

The opening ceremony was incredibly successful.  You know the one, where you have to remove plastic covering, polystyrene, wood, a bit more plastic, strips of plastic "ribbon" that would cut your hand off at a moments notice, all the while the children and me are waiting in awe for the "final reveal".  This beauty of white metal and space ship buttons emerges.  It took our breath away.  And it definately took Jurgens breath away whilst he was trying to wedge it into the washing machine hole.

Its beautiful.  A real work of art.  I was more excited than I have ever been to do washing. 

And here it is.......




I will just let you catch your breath.....

The problem is I have suddenly realised how boring I have become.  What happened to me that I now find the look of a washing machine exciting?    I used to think I was cool but now I'm, dare I say it,  DOMESTICATED.  Shit, that hurts.  

It has taken over in all walks of my life.  I had to purchase a double oven due to the hugeness of my family and my inability to cook one meal in a reasonable timescale on a single oven.   This massively excited me.  This cooker, this image of gorgeousness took over my life.   I chose it with incredible care.  I read up on it and the things it could do.  5 years ago I would have chosen the cheapest option in the shop even if it came with a warning that said it would burn all your food all the time.   But, now I care about the these things waaaaayyyyyy tooo much.

Jurgen is working today and I have telephoned him four times already to tell him the genius things my washing machine can do.   Four times.  He is not quite as excited as me but who cares?  He needs to know.  I now need to ring him again just to explain the machine is so quiet that I didn't think it was working.  That means that the spin won't rattle the very timbers of my house.  He is going to love me interupting his work day to explain this little tidbit...

We are off on holiday this week and I can practically do all the washing in one sitting as opposed to 25 mad, mental washes that cause me a great deal of stress.  Genius.  And.... the weather is beautiful so I am managing to get in dried outside... this information is almost orgasmic to me!!

My weekends used to be filled with hard core partying.  Proper weekends passing in a haze of music and dancing.  Now I look forward to nothing better on a Saturday night than browsing through a catalogue of domestic appliances...

What happened to me? 

I wouldn't change me for all the dishwashers in China....

Valentine

Following on from my lovey dovey posts of late its Valentine's Day this week.

I love Valentine's day.  Mainly because its also my wedding anniversary but because I love the whole romance of the occasion.  The cheap tat you can buy to express your undying love to your other half, the overpriced meals at all the local restaurants, the oversized cards stuffed with words of inane drivel that if said face to face would make you either  cringe or laugh your head off.

I love, love, love it.

When I  arranged my wedding to Jurgen,   I was speechless with excitement when the travel people said that February 14th was free and we could marry on this day.   Me, Jurgen , my mum, the children on an exotic beach on the most romantic day of the year...well, it was just meant to be.

I remember the couple getting married there the day before us and thinking, why?  Why would you have chosen the 13th when the 14th is Valentines day.  But then I guess they get to eat out on their anniversary relatively cheaply!

Jurgen and I always go out for dinner on our anniversary.  And I know that I am paying through the nose for a meal but  I love the sense of occasion, the romance and I love that this day is our special day celebrating when we made our family whole.

I know people have a problem with only being romantic on one day a year.  In my opinion this is overthinking a day that is now designed to boost the coffers of the card makers, florists, restaurants, hotels, etc etc.   Why make it complicated?  Jurgen buys me flowers regularly and makes tiny romantic gestures occasionally, as do I, but on Valentines Day I want the works.  I want flowers, chocolate, jewellery, dinner.  Because I am massively materialistic and because what girl doesn't love their partner buying them gifts?  Shallow? Yes, definitely.  Honest?  Absolutely.

But puke inducing words aside and like I have said before not everyone is so lucky.  I remember being single and being overwhelmed with Valentine's day shit and thinking another year of single, another year of no love.  But why does it have to be about couples?  When the very point behind Saint Valentine has long been forgotten and its now just a commercial dream.  Why not confess your undying love to yourself?  Daft?  Maybe....but what a brilliant idea.

Buy yourselves a big bunch of red roses.  Treat yourself to a takeaway, buy yourself the necklace you've always wanted or just treat yourself to a box of chocolates to eat whilst watching Eastenders...tell yourself that you love you and to hell with the world.  Because that's where it should start, with you loving you.

I am not getting any gifts this year, I have had my ring and my washing machine (romantic gift of the century)  but if I don't get the flowers and the chocolates then divorce is going to be on the cards....

So, this year when Thursday comes, I want everyone to love Valentines day.  Whether you are overwhelmed with gifts from your partner or not. 

Try telling yourself that you love you.  Because if no one else is going to this Valentines day then the very best person to make this declaration is you.   No one has to hear but you.  Try it.  Please. 

Eternity

Jurgen asked me what I wanted for my birthday this year and I asked if I could have an eternity ring.  He rolled his eyes and said in his rather monotone voice "If that's what you want..."   The reason he was not jumping up and down with glee is because this is the third eternity ring I have asked him to buy for me.

Three eternity rings.  Is this defeating the object of the very thing that they represent?  Is this making a mockery of their intentions?

This got me to thinking.

Eternity.....its a bloody long time isn't it?    Are you really prepared to say that you will stay with someone for all eternity?   It's a mind boggling concept when you think about it, and with broken marriages becoming more and more the "norm" as opposed to the exception, harder and harder to comprehend.

I married my first husband for all the right reasons, genuinely.  I thought I loved him, I thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.  But, unfortunately, it soon became apparent to me that this wasn't going to be the case.   In the end I tolerated him.  It was easier to be married to him than to face the daunting task of going it alone, with two children, a mortgage , two jobs and not much else.  I knew that I wasn't going to be with him forever.  I knew it.  But I didn't know how I was going to get out of it.  But I also knew fate would help me.  I am a massive, firm believer in fate.  I just believe that your life is mapped out from the day you are born.  And I knew that fate would ensure that I wasn't with my first husband forever.   And, for reasons that don't need to be explained we separated and later divorced.  For the record,  when he died, we were best friends...

I then met Jurgen and as I have already told you countless times I knew that he was the other half of me.  Of that I have no doubt.  I know that I am going to die being married to Jurgen or at least being his widow.  I have never been as sure of anything in my life.  I know without a shadow of a doubt that he would never cheat on me, never hurt me and through experience he is always thinking about me and putting my needs first.  I never take this for granted, surprisingly. Sure, on a day to day level you overlook this but I am very aware that there are people who never get to experience true love.   

I truly believe that for every person in the world there is another who is the other half of you.  Some of us are very lucky to find that person and then there are those who spend their whole lives searching but never get to meet. 

Relationships are like trousers, you will have those that fit for a while and then you grow out of them so you try another pair.  Then, if you are lucky, you find the elasticated waist trackies that, no matter how much you grow or age they just fit.  Comfortable and well,  just right.

Jurgen has had his fair share of "tight trousers" that he has had to give to the charity shop.  He had never tried on his elasticated waist trackies before me and now he would never take them off and wishes he had bought  them first time around.   Fashion,  its got a lot to answer for...

So, back to the three eternity rings.  The first one I was desperate for Jurgen to buy for me on our first wedding anniversary.  We didn't have much money so he bought me one that to be fair made my finger, over time, go slightly green.  The second was gorgeous but only a half band and the fact that the diamonds sat towards the palm of my hand more and more frequently, constantly annoyed me and it just wasn't right.  So, my third and hopefully final one.  Its a full band diamond set, white gold beauty.  And it just can't spin round and sit backwards and annoy me.

It is my hugely materialistic side that wanted this third eternity ring.  However, if I had stayed with the first one and sat with a tarnished greenish band on my finger for the rest of my life, it wouldn't have really mattered.  No ring can ever display the "thing" that Jurgen and I are lucky to have. 

If you haven't been lucky enough to find your other half yet.  Don't ever give up.   Never.  Keep searching, always, forever.

Because there is no age limit on eternity...