Judge

So, half term is coming to an end.  For once in my life I am saddened by this.  I have really enjoyed having time off work and spending quality time with my children. 

 

 

When I worked in Communicare I worked shifts.  Three 12 1/2 hour shifts per week which consisted of days and nights. Most weeks I picked up at least one overtime so it meant working in excess of 50 hour weeks.    I have recently changed jobs and I now work  9 - 5   Monday to Friday, with no possiblity of overtime.   It has changed my life completely.

I am no longer walking around in a haze of knackerness. I am much more financially settled so far less financially stressed .  I am home every evening to do homework, reading, cooking a meal and sitting around the dinner table chatting about the days going's on.    I am less tetchy in general because I love my job and I am less exhausted.  I have finally managed to change my lifes routine and alter my life to accommodate a "normal" job. 

My mum and Jurgen cover the main crux of the childcare between them.  I am very lucky.  But I miss my children.  I miss being away from them for that amount of time but then I explain to them if they want holidays, Father Christmas to visit etc then I have no choice but to work.  Its no fun explaining to a three year old that really I need to pay the mortgage!

I have had problems this week with abusive messages from Jurgens sister.  I can take it.  It makes me as mad as hell that she does it but she's no threat to me.  However, she always slags of my parenting skills.  

Its a sensitive issue, parenting. 

In my opinion its the one issue that you can discuss behind someones back but not actually say to their face.  NO ONE wants to be told that their parenting is shit.  If you see someone's child having a screaming hissy fit, you think in your head " I wouldn't let my child do that!"  but if you were to say it to their face you probably would lose your front teeth.   We all deal with parenting differently.  That's life.  There is no right way or wrong way.  Its how you choose to parent that makes it work for you. 

I'm a really laid back mum.  BUT, I have certain rules and regulations that if you break you are in a world of shit.  My children know instinctively when they have gone too far.  I don't have to think about smacking  because there simply is no need.  My children know when I have the "look" they back off and think twice. 

I am really close to all my children so I must be doing something right.

Being the mum to a teenager is my most challenging role yet.  My oldest, Connor, came home paraletic at the weekend.  I was away and my mum cleared up his sick and put him to bed and periodically checked on him through the night.  I was aware that it was all going on but couldn't do anything to help.  The next day I talked to him.  Just like an adult.  I explained how stupid he was and how I didn't want him to do it again anytime soon,  but am aware that he probably will.   My theory on teenage years, its about remembering how I was as a teenager.   Shouting and hollering isn't going to stop him doing it.  Making sure I know about it and ensuring that he is safe at all times will help when he is doing it. 

Other people wouldn't accept that their 15 year old was drinking.  And that's ok also.  Its a minefield and you stumble along the best you can.

My daughter has had problems with other girls in her school.  I won't have it.  If you pick on my daughter I will ensure, through the proper channels, that you won't do it again.   I will make sure she doesn't go to bed crying at the thought of going to school the next day.  Its my job - as her parent. 

I am lucky to be in a settled, happy marriage.  Its so much easier having someone to discuss the issues with, someone to make the decisions with.    Jurgs and I  discuss everything.  We wont let one have a sleepover unless we  have discussed it first. 

I have spent quality time with my children this week.  Having family days out.  Sitting on the kitchen floor playing cars.  Singing silly songs.  Walking up the farm.  Playing silly games.  Making pumpkin soup together and Trick or Treating.  I'm ashamed to say that its been a long time since I have done this.  Far too long.  Its been an eye opener for me this week and I have remembered just how brilliant being a mum can be. 

I have had Roman and Mattias screaming and shouting at each other. 
Mattias : "Mum, he keeps calling me Keith Lemon!"
Roman : "Mum, he keeps calling me Louie Spence!"
They are articulate and hilariously funny.  But I appreciate that they can sometimes be naughty.   

I have been a single mum, working two jobs just to keep a roof over their heads.  But sometimes money is not enough.  Spending time with them is. 

Having children is a privilege not a right.  And I will be eternally thankful that I have 5 beautiful, healthy children who mean the world to me.

Let my children be the judge of my parenting.  Let them speak to me about the issues that they have.  Not you.