Thorny

The return of this beautiful sunshine and people migrate en masse to the back garden.  I am one of these people.  I automatically turn into Charlie Dimmock and become at one with nature.  Well, I say nature.. as long as it doesn't consist of animals, insects, birds or any form of green growy stuff..

This week has been no exception.  I firstly had to paint the entire side fence.   It was a long arduous task but removing  the colour of bright orange and adding a classier muted brown  was a success in itself.   I now don't need sunglasses in the back garden when its raining.  It made me realise that I miss that god awful smell of creosote in the summer.  Back in the 80's that was a common summer smell.  The one that made your eyes stream and the skin on the back of your throat melt.  I miss that.  I also miss white dog poo.....

My back garden is mainly consistent of bushes with free ranging minds of their own that no amount of gun fire could ever stop.  Kinda like the Terminator , the buggers will not die....
What possesses a person to plant bushes with three inch diameter stalks and thorns galore.  Bushes that are neither attractive nor useful, just plain bloody ugly and more dangerous than Charles Manson.  I kid you not, I fought to bring these bushes down.  I battled until my palms were blistered and my arms bled.  It was an heroic action.  When the last bleeder was down I felt like I had won a mini war and awarded myself the Military Cross.

Now if bonfire making was an Olympic sport I would be up there with the bronze medalists.  I am really alright at it.  It stinks and makes your eyes water but it is the cremation of the bloody bushes and, as morbid as that sounds, its satisfying.  Very satisfying,  

The bushes are now all gone.  Although I will probably be burning them until 2015 they are no longer roaming the earth.   I am ensuring, that this year we can sit in the back garden in this weather with good quality family time without losing at least one of the children in the bloody jungle that was my back garden.

Now all I have to do is move the huge "feature" rocks that litter the garden.  They are nothing but a trampoline inspectors health and safety nightmare.... they are so heavy that the only way they can be removed is if I let the "Worlds Strongest Man" competition take place in my back garden.

Each to their own and all that but "taste" is something you either have or you don't,  And this rock suggests my house was owned previously be people with no taste at all.

Anyway, must get on.  Have an award winning bonfire to make....