Serious

I have had a rough couple of weeks of late with family issues.  (Well, I say "family"  but to be fair, that is a massive overstatement.   Family, to me, suggests togetherness and all that jazz so yes, "family" is a massive overstatement. )

It got me thinking, more so this weekend,  as it was my daughter, Skye's, 13th birthday.   We had a party for her at the local community centre where about 60 of her friends turned up and, quite hilariously, danced the night away.

I was dreading it.

Funny, how I organise such events and then decide that I would rather stick pins in my eyes than go through with it...but Skye had a fantastic time and for that reason alone it was sooooooo worth it.

One of my jobs as a mum is to provide her with great memories to take into her adulthood.  I do this the only way I know how.  I don't lavish massively on my children, finances simply won't allow it.  But, on special occasions I always try to go the extra mile.  This weekend was one of those special occasions.

I was chatting to Jurgen about this, this morning and he has no real special memories of his childhood.   He is not saying that they didn't happen, more that he doesn't remember anything specific.   That pains me greatly. I had a brilliant, loving childhood.  I grew up in a safe, secure household with lots of love and lots of laughter.   My world was rocked at aged 14 when I lost my dad to cancer, but those of us  remaining never lost that closeness we just learned to rebuild it with one massive part missing.  I am still very close to my mum now and she is more of a best friend than a mum and I thank her, mostly, for my parenting skills of today.

I idolise my children, and frequently tell them how much I love them.

 Jurgen and I deal with a lot of the parenting together and as much as we don't always get it right we try and try again until we do.  Jurgen is a step dad to my older two.  The hardest job in the world is being a step parent - he finds it difficult and sometimes a chore, but he tries so hard and in my eyes, is a success.   We instill time and time again that there will be no favouritism in this household.  There is no place for it among siblings and it a bad bad parenting trait if you favour one child over another, and as this is a subject close to Jurgens heart we simply have no place for it.    NEVER.

That aside  Jurgen isn't perfect, far from it.  And I am sure Jurgen's past will catch up with him in a Jeremy Kyle'esque fashion at some point.  We are ready for that and will deal with it head on.

Honesty is another of my compulsory traits.  And I always have taught my children you can lie all you like but you will get caught.  It may take days, months, years but you will always be caught.  End of.   That is not up for discussion.

My relationship with Jurgen is another learning tool for our children.   We are not some idealistic couple who only ever smile, skip everywhere,  and never say a cross word.  We argue, sometimes like cat and dog.   I have no qualms in standing up for something I believe in and neither does Jurgen and this sometimes involves disagreements.  I don't want my children to think that they cannot stand up for something they believe in.  There is nothing wrong in disagreeing with someone else's opinions.   Arguements do not equate to fights so what's the harm?  It is unrealisitic of me to expect my life to always be harmonious.  I am simply not built like that.  And I admire Jurgen for having the audacity to stand up to me!!   We are also demonstrative, but no overly so as to embarrass the children, but it is important to us to not be afraid to tell everyone we love them.

Parenting is a learning curve that never completely reaches its end.  Everyday I experience new challenges with my children and I don't always have the answers.   Sometimes its very trying and stressful but mostly its the most rewarding job in the world.  My older two have both suffered heartache at a young age when they lost their dad but we have worked on building them a future without him around as  best as we can.  And it seems to be working......

I love to laugh.   It's a predominant part of my personality.  I want to make others laugh and I like to be made to laugh.  Jurgen and I make each other laugh and that, together with our open lines of communication are what makes our realtionship rock solid.

But occasionally, like today,  I can be serious........